Trudeau: Hello Modi ji, Namaste…

Modi: Hmmm

Trudeau: I am calling because….

Modi: I am aware of the reason

Trudeau:  So…. will you consider Kenneda for Vaccine Maitri?

Modi: Look Justhin beta, do you actually care about your praja?

Trudeau: (shaking)… I… I … think so… I mean… I am doing the best I can…

Modi: Beta, your best is pretty damn mediocre. 

Trudeau: (soft sobbing) 

Modi: Look, you tell me what you think I should do.  How would you respond to the vaccine request if you were in my shoes? Would you pretend to ignore that you are supporting global terrorism movements?  Are you aware of the reality of imperialism and colonialism and its impact on ancient civilizations?  Do you know what type of economic damage you have caused by backing good for nothing andolan jeevis residing in Kenneda?  

Trudeau: I am aware about the tool kit… and I am sorry that I am a not-so-sharp tool myself

Modi: … there, there…

Trudeau: I should have never lent support to farmer agitation.  In fact, I really thought these khalistanis with swords and guns were real farmers.  Let me talk about my past… You see, my parents divorced when I was a child and I received mediocre education in woke universities in Kenneda.  My useless degree in environmental geography makes me think that I am an expert in all things farming.  But that degree would have never turned into a viable career… I mean… I am even disappointing my Scottish and French ancestors by having grown up to be a useless tool… you are right in scolding me…

Modi: I am not scolding you; I am simply holding up a mirror so you can see yourself more clearly.  It is my duty as an elder to show you the mirror.

Trudeau: …My father’s death forced me to seek refuge in the failed idea of liberalism… I am still suffering because my father imposed Catholic love jihad on my mother and I secretly question my own birth and legitimacy…

Modi: (looking at watch)

Trudeau: I supported the farmers just like I supported many idiotic causes as the Liberal Party’s critic multiculturalism and youth… 

Modi: (looking at watch)

Trudeau: I don’t have any real fraands…. I am not very good at my job… people make fun of my pre-pubescent looks and girly hair.  Even my sweet wife and I have probl….

Modi: (cuts him off) Justhin, India will comply as we believe in giving a chance to even the weakest and meekest to turn their life failures around.  A fool and a tool, both deserve at least one last chance to redeem themselves.

Trudeau: How can I and the Kennedian republic pay you back for your generosity?

Modi: I am sure you are smart enough to figure it out.  Otherwise, my staff is here to guide you.  Here is Shri Jaishanker’s handle on Koo; feel free to get in touch.  Oh, and make sure to put out a press release about this conversation to educate your many liberal friends via your tech Master twitter.  

Trudeau: Than…k… yo..u… so…

Modi: (hangs up)

Trudeau: … much.

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