If you are not willing to look like a foolish beginner, you’ll never become a graceful master.
As kids, we have always been taught to be all-rounders, but it comes with its own time and grace. We’re taught that embarrassing moments are to be avoided at all costs. We go to great lengths to prevent it, and when it happens, we feel immense shame and humiliation.
But what if we embraced embarrassment instead of avoiding it? What if we saw it as the cost of entry into new experiences and learning opportunities?
That’s the thinking of author Tim Ferriss, who argues that embarrassment is essential for growth and progress. In his book, the 4-Hour Work Week, he writes:
“For all intents and purposes, embarrassment doesn’t exist if you don’t care about what other people think… You must be willing to look stupid and feel awkward in order to learn something new or improve your skills.”
Proverbs like “failure is the key to success” are common. But is that really true? Failure brings with it not just grief, remorse, and guilt but also—and perhaps most importantly—embarrassment or humiliation. It’s the sense of betrayal and shame that comes with failing that has helped you grow and accomplish your goals, not the failure itself. Failure is a wake-up call that forces us to re-evaluate our approach and make the required changes. In the end, we achieve success through this process of growing from our setbacks and channeling all the unpleasant emotions into something productive.
Most of the time, it’s not the failure that helps you improve, but the fear of failing again!
For example, you might be given a task at work that you have no idea about. You realize that everyone around you is already quite skilled at it. You can approach it in two ways: either you will be insecure and scared of sounding stupid when you ask questions, or you might accept the fact that you are a newbie, and therefore, it’s okay if you take longer to learn than others. You won’t be able make use of the given opportunity if you choose the first way. On the other hand, if you choose the second route, you can learn a new skill without fear of intimidation from more experienced individuals. Remember, everyone starts somewhere, and the only way to progress is by asking questions and seeking guidance from those who are more experienced.
Being a CA student, I have always feared taxation as a subject. However, I got an articleship exclusively in the field of taxation; call it fate or anything. Having worked in this field for almost 3 years, I believe that it was a wise choice. I’ve gained exposure to the fields where my interests have grown and learned about topics that used to give me nightmares. Have I ever been ashamed of myself because I didn’t grasp the task, if you must ask? I’d answer that it’s daily! However, it’s what has enabled me to overcome my anxiety and feel at ease discussing the topic.
You should anticipate that you won’t get everything right the first time you try something new. And if you don’t, you could feel insecure and ashamed, but that’s what it takes to get it right the next time you try it. The benefit of embarrassment is that it motivates you to change your behavior and helps you become more self-aware. It can be a sign that you are out of your comfort zone, which means you are probably doing something new and challenging. And that’s a good thing! So don’t fear taking up that new course, a corporate job in a different field, meeting new people, or anything else you are unfamiliar with.
If you are making mistakes and learning from it, then it’s a sign that you are on the right path. Keep hustling!
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