Since the formidable #LeLi ecosystem can make or mar careers, I would suggest that you profess your allegiance to the ideology for your personal safety and peace of mind in your campuses and workplaces.
The reasons to turn Left are too numerous to be listed in a post. I have tried to give some of the important ones with a #toolkit of sorts to help in the Leftward journey. Incidentally, we are not talking here about the Left as in Communism, but the oxymoron of an ideology called Left-Liberalism, which is a virulent mutation of the former, and which has spread all over the globe, chiefly in the big democracies. (Link)
Read @BaluSrividya’s excellent graphical and analytical thread to better understand how this global ecosystem functions.
Coming to my post, I have listed some sound reasons for taking a Left turn and have provided a small #toolkit to help you along.
The moment you turn Left, you become a cool #LeLi (Left-Liberal) and are in the august company of world leaders, activists and all those fabulous film stars and corporate honchos! Together, it forms a tight-knit ecosystem, especially on social media platforms. By adding the right key words to your profile (Climate-activist, Feminist, Animal lover, Secular, etc), you ensure that Jack or Mark never touch your handle, no matter how abusive your tweets are. In fact, those who report you would be dubbed ‘RW trolls’ and suspended! #LeLis decide who is one of ‘them’ and who needs to be ‘cancelled’. Isn’t it best to be on the right side and safe?
#LeLis know that narratives control the mind and so continuously create narratives which are amplified and legitimised by the big names in the ecosystem to further a set agenda. Helpful #toolkits including tweets and hashtags are provided by global players with stakes in the agenda.
By rejecting any counter-narrative as being fascist and employing such tactics as shifting goal posts and shouting down opponents in debates, shooting-and-scooting in public and repeating a lie, you can just about turn any fact on its head. Likewise, when the aggressor belongs to the ecosystem, you should help the perpetrator to play the victim/minority card. So, learn quickly which communities, personalities, ideologies and religions can be mocked and attacked, and which need to be left alone or protected. We will come to specific points later in the post.
Since this formidable ecosystem can make or mar careers, campuses and workplaces can become either happy places or hellholes depending on your ideological affiliation. Who would want to be known as a Sanghi, Hindutvavadi, bhakt, white supremacist, racist and fascist, when the alternatives like secular, rights activist and progressive liberal, are infinitely more ‘cool’ and acceptable? I would suggest that you profess your allegiance to the #LeLi ideology for your personal safety and peace of mind. You surely don’t want to add to the list of those whose careers and businesses have been ruined because they foolishly remained on the Right or Hindu?
Left Liberalism has many weapons in its arsenal but none as effective and lethal as its set of cards – it holds ALL of them. But the most important ones are the pla ‘card’ and the victim card. Placards are the preferred means of #LeLi celebrities to mobilise when they want to attack an opponent. These amazing cards can turn the holder into overnight internet celebrities provided they choose their targets carefully. Denounce Indian Armed Forces, Modi, ‘Brahminical Patriarchy’, Toxic Masculinity or ‘Not in my name’ whenever the ecosystem sends out the word. Remember Gurmehar Kaur?
Placards afford that viral visibility and help you enter hotshot universities in the west. Choose social sciences or Liberal Arts as your courses of study. They are not only the passports to global recognition but also give you the opportunity to conduct seminars on such socially relevant topics like, ‘Can eating Maggi create a more equal society?’ Anyone who calls you elitist can be nothing better than a Sanghi ganwar who doesn’t even know how use a knife and fork like civilized folks! Once in an elitist university, and with the right moves, connections, and a bit of luck, you might even become a Greta or a Malala or at least a homegrown Kanhaiya Kumar or Disha Ravi of the #toolkit fame.
Participate in protests against the current fascist government. You could meet Bollywood celebrities and Leftist icons like the goddess of trivial things. In addition to getting media coverage and international exposure, it brings you to the notice of the biggies in the ecosystem. Never mind that you have no idea of what the protest is about. After all, did Farhan Akhtar have a clue about CAA before he stood in front of the TV camera, or did Mia Khalifa know what the Farm Laws were about before she tweeted in favour of #FarmerProtests?
As in Communism, it is only at the top of the Left Liberal hierarchy that glamour, big bucks, and power exist. That means you not only have to rise in the hierarchical ladder quickly, but also need someone below you to fight for, empower and uplift. Pick any marginalised group from the ever-expanding list or create a new one. After all, creativity is the forte of #LeLis. From dissent to civil unrest, from fake news to fake narratives and agendas, #LeLis excel in ‘creative’ pursuit. Of late the creativity has extended to even tweets, probably to help out the newbies who have been hired to amplify tweets against fascist Modi.
Since #LeLis are the sole possessors of FOE and FOS, no power in any democracy can touch you, no matter what you do. Call the PM a psychopath, Hitler, Fascist; or mock Hindu deities (ONLY Hindu deities, mind you!), celebrate terrorists and call for breaking Bharat. Remember that your opponents have no FOE or FOS, so, just call it hate speech and brand them Hindutva/RSS/racist/casteist/fascists and get them suspended permanently across SM platforms. When your FOE argument fails to work, pull out the victim card. It is sure to work. But if you still get arrested, top lawyers hired by the ecosystem will fight your case in the highest court. Your arrest would have many side benefits like getting your own Wiki page, interviews in the likes of NYT, Guardian and WaPo, and an international award or two. Watch and learn:
Being a #LeLi, can get you a plum job in any one of the global corporates, hi-tech biggies, or a UN body. They are all Left-aligned and even if they are not, they dare not reject you and risk the wrath of the likes of Rihanna, Greta and Mia. You can also have a goldmine in the fields of activism, foreign-funded NGOs, stand-up comedy, politics, films, academia, and more. Gravy boats are overflowing for all these activities despite the fascist Modi government clamping down on foreign funding. Grandpa Soros and Roman numeral 11, will find ways to slip in the dollars with their ‘facilitators’ in Opposition political parties, media houses and the Deep State. After all, hadn’t the former pledged a billion dollars to bring down this ‘nationalist’ government?
You could go in for writing, media, and advertising. Pandemic-porn is all the rage. WaPo, Time and NYT will be thrilled to get stories of death and despair of Indians. Take some pointers from pros in the business. If you are writing a book don’t worry about the content or quality. Your #LeLi credentials will get you published by the top publishing houses. If only Monica Arora had not been on the wrong side, her Delhi Riots wouldn’t have been killed! Even a Chetan Bhagat saw the wisdom of turning Left, despite his books selling in millions. Not just writers, but professionals like economists and others are also taking the Left turn, looking at the benefits. Better be safe than sorry, right?
Or you could take up photography. Pyre-porn is the in-thing. Western audiences are lapping them up and they fetch neat sums on online portals. Since it is about Hindus who fall in the cancelled category, it is safe. Who knows, one of your pyre shots might even win a Pulitzer or Magsaysay?
For those who are on the verge of retirement, taking a Left turn (if not already a #LeLi) gets a professorship at one of the western universities or if lucky, a cosy sinecure with a UN body.
I trust you are convinced by now that Left is where all the power, glamour and big bucks are.
A word of advice to Millennial parents! Start training your toddlers right away. Climate activists are getting ever younger. Ridhima Pandey, touted as India’s Greta, is just 11.
I tried to write the post in a light vein, but the reality of it soon pressed down on me.
The ominous words of O’Brien in George Orwell’s 1984 came to haunt me:
“Ours (world) is founded upon hatred. In our world, there will be no emotions except fear, rage, triumph, and self-abasement. Everything else we shall destroy—everything.“
Left Liberalism is firmly on that sinister course. And that is scary.
Images: Top- https://areomagazine.com/ https://www.aninews.in/ https://www.hindustantimes.com/
DISCLAIMER: The author is solely responsible for the views expressed in this article. The author carries the responsibility for citing and/or licensing of images utilized within the text.
