Dattaraj Deshpande

A recent advertisement of a clothing brand tried to convey that, “a girl is not an object or property to be given as “dāna” (दान), hence it is not appropriate to do “kanyā dāna” in marriage”.  Some Hindus reacted with outrage calling it an attack on Hindu practices, while some others replied to the criticism of kanyā-dānawith non-factual statements like, ‘We had the process of svayaṃvara (स्वयंवर)  but not kanyā-dāna. Still, others put forth their own interpretation that it is kanya-aadaana, which means ‘accepting’ and not ‘giving away.

Amidst the heat of this debate on the internet, an old video of an internationally renowned Yoga Guru Sri Sri Ravi Shankar ji surfaced, in which he says that,“kanyā-dāna is a medieval eriod distortion and is not mentioned in any Veda. Even in the Smritis only pāṇi-grahaṇa (पाणि-ग्रहण) is mentioned and not kanyā-dāna.  There is no mantra at all for kanyā-dāna ritual in Vedas. Therefore, kanyā-dāna should be removed from the ritual of marriage or shouldn’t be practiced.”

Apart from this, he repeated the same statement in an interview given to Republic TV on 21 September 2021.

Republic TV on 21 September 2021.

Due to the popularity of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar ji, his words influence society considerably. Obviously, after the interview, doubts arose in the minds of many Hindus who consider Veda and Smriti as authentic sources. – “Is there really no mention of kanyā-dāna in the Vedas? Is this practice against Vedic principles? Is it not mentioned in the Smritis also?

People with such doubts caused by Sri Sri are trying to find out the reality with the help of Vedic scholars in their contact. Many might not have contacts with scholars who can clarify their doubts in this regard. Hence, references of kanyā-dāna from Shruti and Smriti are being presented here in this article for the benefit of such seekers of truth.

Before finding references of kanyā-dāna in Shruti, it has to be kept in mind that Shruti is not a Standard Operating Procedure manual and therefore does not prescribe the dos and don’ts of life. It is a compilation of poems (Riks) that contains praise and prayer of Devatas.

Since such hymns do not contain direct instructions regarding what to do and what not to do, the implied meaning from the Veda has to be accepted as pramāṇa (प्रमाण).

For example: – “After the Swayamvar took place, King Janaka conducted the marriage of Sita with Shri Ram as per procedure”

There is no mention of “kanyā-dāna” in the above sentence; however, there is a mention of, “as per procedure.” King Janaka being a disciple of Yajnavalkya, belonging to the branch of Shukla Yajurveda, must have done kanyā-dāna, pāṇi-grahaṇa and other rituals according to the Paraskara Grihya-sutra that is related to Shukla Yajurveda. This is implied.

Similarly, let us look into the following mantras.

There are 47 verses in the last hymn of the third chapter of the tenth mandala of the Rigveda-Samhita, which are recited as blessings in Rig-Vedic marriages. Though the entire hymn has reference to kanyā-dāna, we shall look into only a couple of mantras (Richas) along with sāyaṇācārya’s (सायणाचार्य) commentary, as proof of kanyā-dāna.

सोमो वधूयु: अभवत् अश्विनास्तां उभा वरा ।
सूर्यां यत् पत्ये शंसन्तीं मनसा सविता अददात् । । – ऋग्वेद – 10- 07 – 85 – 9

somo vadhūyu: abhavat aśvināstāṃ ubhā varā ।
sūryāṃ yat patye śaṃsantīṃ manasā savitā adadāt । । – ṛgveda – 10-07–85–9

(kriyāpada or verb of “daan” is underlined in the mantra)

Commentary of  sāyaṇācārya

somo vadhūyuḥ vadhukāmo abhavat । tasmin samaye aśvinā, aśvinau,  ubhā, ubhau  varā-varau āstāṃ, abhūtām । yat tadā sūryāṃ patye śaṃsantīṃ patiṃ kāmayamānām ।   paryāpta yauvanāṃ ityarthaḥ । sūryāṃ manasā sahitāya somāya varāya savitā tatpitā adadāt । prādāt ditsāṃ cakāra ।

English Translation:

Soma became interested in the bride. At that time (both) Ashwini deities were in the form of वर-अवर. Then, Savita, the father, gave (adadāt) his daughter Surya, who was desirous of a husband (or eligible for marriage) to Soma, who was the adhi-devata of the mind.

It is necessary to understand the meaning of the word “adadāt” in this mantra.

Now we will see another mantra from the same hymn –

गृभ्णामि ते सौभगत्वाय हस्तं मया पत्या जरदष्टिर्यथासः।
भगो अर्यमा सविता पुरन्धिः मह्यं त्वा अदुः गार्हपत्याय देवाः ।। – ऋग्वेद – 10- 07 – 85 – 36

gṛbhṇāmi te saubhagatvāya hastaṃ mayā patyā jaradaṣṭiryathāsaḥ।bhago aryamā savitā purandhiḥ mahyaṃ tvā “aduḥ” gārhapatyāya devāḥ ।।– ṛgveda – 10-07–85–36

(kriyāpada or Verb of “daan” is underlined in the Mantra)

bhāṣya  of sāyaṇācārya

he vadhu । tava hastamahaṃ gṛbhṇāmi । gṛhṇāmi । kimarthaṃ । saubhagatvāya । saubhāgyāya । mayā patyā tvaṃ jaradaṣṭiḥ । prāptavārdhakyāsaḥ bhavasi । bhagaḥ aryamā savitā purandhiḥ pūṣā ete devāḥ tvāṃ tvā mahyaṃ adaduḥ । dattavantaḥ । kimarthaṃ । gārhapatyāya । yathāhaṃ gṛhapatiḥ syāṃ iti ।

English translation:

O bride. I hold your hand (pāṇi-grahaṇa). Why?  – To attain prosperity. You will also attain old age while living with me. The devatas named Bhaga, Aryama, Savita and Purandhi (Pusha) have given (adaduḥ) you to me. Why? – For managing the gārhapatya (गार्हपत्य); since I am the head of the house (gṛhapati).

अनृक्षरा ऋजवः सन्तु पन्था येभिः सखायो यन्तिनो वरेयम् ।
समर्यमा सं भगो मे निनीयात् सं जास्पत्यं सुयममस्तु देवाः ।। – ऋग्वेद – 10- 07 – 85 – 23

anṛkṣarā ṛjavaḥ santu panthā yebhiḥ sakhāyo yantino vareyam ।samaryamā saṃ bhago me ninīyāt saṃ jāspatyaṃ suyamamastu devāḥ ।। – ṛgveda –10-07–85–23

English Translation:

When our friends go to meet the “vareya” (the father of the girl who chooses the bridegroom after accepting the prayer for the girl), then let their paths be free from thorns. May Aryama-devata show the right path. May the devata named Bhaga lead the path smoothly. O devatas, may the married life (jāspatyaṃ) stand on firm ground.

In his statements, Sri Ravi Shankar ji not only mentioned that Vedas do not have a reference to kanyā-dāna, he also stated that even the Smritis do not mention kanyā-dāna, and has a reference to pāṇi-grahaṇa  only. To ward off the doubts that this has created in the minds of people who believe in the authority of the Smritis, references are hereby quoted from the Smritis too.

1. Shiksha (phonetics), 2. Vyakarana (grammar), 3. Chandas (prosody), 4. Nirukta (etymology), 5. Jyotisha (astronomy) 6. Kalpa (rituals) – These six auxiliary disciplines for the study of the Veda are called Vedanga or the six limbs of Vedas.  The sixth limb ‘Kalpa’ has divisions like Sraut-sootra, Grihya-sootra etc. Besides, there are different Shulba Sutras, Grihya Sutrasetc. of different branches of Vedas.

Reference to kanyā-dāna is found in the various Grihya Sutras collected by Sages Baudhayana, Paraskara and others. Since this article had referenced evidence from the Rigveda mantra, we will look at the Ashvalayana Grihya Sutras (आश्वालयन गृह्यसूत्र) which is limb of Rig-veda only.

बुद्धिमते कन्यां प्रयच्छेत्  । -आश्वालयन गृह्यसूत्र – अध्याय 1 –  कण्डिका – 5  (वरलक्षण प्रकरण)

buddhimate kanyāṃ prayacchet   -āśvālayana gṛhya sūtra – adhyāya 1 –  kaṇḍikā – 5 (varalakṣaṇa prakaraṇa)

English translation: – A girl should be given to the wise.

In this sentence, the word daan is in the vidhyarthaka form of ling lakāra of yacch dhātu, which is ‘yacchet’. With the prefix ‘pra’ added, it has further enhanced the meaning of it. For eg. As in the words prakopa, prasada, prabala etc.

alaṅkṛtya kanyāṃ udakapūrvāṃ  dadyāt eṣa brāhmo vivāhaḥ।

-āśvālayana gṛhyasūtra – adhyāya 1 –  kaṇḍikā – 6 (vivāha prakaraṇa)

अलङ्कृत्य कन्यां उदकपूर्वां  दद्यात् एष ब्राह्मो विवाहः। -आश्वालयन गृह्यसूत्र – अध्याय 1 –  कण्डिका – 6 (विवाह प्रकरण)

English translation: – The girl, who is decked, is to be given (dadyāt) with the sanctified water (with water dhāra). This is Brāhma vivāha.

In this way, there are clear references to kanyā-dāna in the Vedas and in the Vedanga of Griya Sutra. Besides, there are clear references to kanya-daan in many other Smritis too. However, we will look into one of the oldest and one that is considered to be the most authentic Smriti – the Manu smriti.

Manu smriti, Chapter 3

चतुर्णामपि वर्णानां प्रेत्य चैह हिताहितान् ।अष्टाविमान् समासेन स्त्रीविवाहान्निबोधत ॥२०॥ब्राह्मो दैवस्तथैवार्षः प्राजापत्यस्तथाऽसुरः । गान्धर्वो राक्षसश्चैव पैशाचश्चाष्टमोऽधमः ॥२१॥यो यस्य धर्म्यो वर्णस्य गुणदोषौ च यस्य यौ। तद्वः सर्वं प्रवक्ष्यामि प्रसवे च गुणागुणान् ॥२२॥

caturṇāmapi varṇānāṃ pretya caiva hitāhitān ।
aṣṭāvimān samāsena strīvivāhānnibodhata ॥20॥

brāhmo daivastathaivārṣaḥ prājāpatyastathā’suraḥ ।
gāndharvo rākṣasaścaiva paiśācaścāṣṭamo’dhamaḥ ॥21॥

yo yasya dharmyo varṇasya guṇadoṣau ca yasya yau।
tadvaḥ sarvaṃ pravakṣyāmi prasave ca guṇāguṇān ॥22॥

English translation:

Considering the welfare of all the four varnas, eight forms of marriages are defined. Brahma-vivaha, Daiva-vivaha, Arsha-vivaha, Prajapatya-vivaha, Asura-vivaha, Gandharva-vivaha, Rakshasa-vivaha, and the most demeaning Paishacha-vivaha. Which of the above is suitable for each varna; what are its virtues and shortcomings; what are its effects on the nature of the children born. All these will be analyzed here.

षडानुपूर्व्या विप्रस्य क्षत्रस्य चतुरोऽवरान् ।विट्शूद्रयोस्तु तानेव विद्याद् धर्म्यानराक्षसान् ॥२३॥ṣaḍānupūrvyā viprasya kṣatrasya caturo’varān ।
viṭśūdrayostu tāneva vidyād dharmyānarākṣasān ॥23॥

The first six forms of marriage are considered dharma for the Brahmanas. The last four are considered dharma for the other varnas of Kshatriya, Vaishya, and Shudra. The last form of Paishacha-vivaha is not considered good for anyone, and has thus been termed demeaning.

आच्छाद्य चार्चयित्वा च श्रुतशीलवते स्वयम् । आहूय दानं कन्याया ब्राह्मो धर्मः प्रकीर्तितः ॥२७॥
ācchādya cārcayitvā ca śrutaśīlavate svayam ।
āhūya dānaṃ kanyāyā brāhmo dharmaḥ prakīrtitaḥ ॥27॥

Inviting a groom who is well versed in the Vedas, and of virtuous conduct; the ritual of offering (daanam) of the girl, with all due respects offered to him, is called Brahma-vivaha.

यज्ञे तु वितते सम्यग् ऋत्विजे कर्म कुर्वते । अलङ्कृत्य सुतादानं दैवं धर्मं प्रचक्षते ॥२८॥
yajñe tu vitate samyag ṛtvije karma kurvate ।
alaṅkṛtya sutādānaṃ daivaṃ dharmaṃ pracakṣate ॥28॥

In a grand yajna, offering (daanam) of the bedecked girl to the Ritwik, is called Daiva-vivaha.

एकं गोमिथुनं द्वे वा वरादादाय धर्मतः । कन्याप्रदानं विधिवदार्षो धर्मः स उच्यते ॥२९॥
ekaṃ gomithunaṃ dve vā varādādāya dharmataḥ ।
kanyāpradānaṃ vidhivadārṣo dharmaḥ sa ucyate ॥29॥

Accepting the offering of two cows and bulls for the sake of yajna, and in exchange offering of the girl is called Arsha-vivaha.

सहौभौ चरतां धर्ममिति वाचाऽनुभाष्य च । कन्याप्रदानमभ्यर्च्य प्राजापत्यो विधिः स्मृतः ॥३०॥
sahaubhau caratāṃ dharmamiti vācā’nubhāṣya ca ।
kanyāpradānamabhyarcya prājāpatyo vidhiḥ smṛtaḥ ॥30॥

Offering respects to the groom and the bride, with the blessings to follow Dharma together, the kanyā-dāna that happens in this way is called Prajapatya-vivaha.

ज्ञातिभ्यो द्रविणं दत्त्वा कन्यायै चैव शक्तितः । कन्याप्रदानं स्वाच्छन्द्यादासुरो धर्म उच्यते ॥३१॥
jñātibhyo draviṇaṃ dattvā kanyāyai caiva śaktitaḥ ।
kanyāpradānaṃ svācchandyādāsuro dharma ucyate ॥31॥

Offering of money to the parents of the groom, and to the bride, as per one’s capacity, the kanyā-dāna that happens in this way is called Asura-vivaha.

इच्छयाऽन्योन्यसंयोगः कन्यायाश्च वरस्य च । गान्धर्वः स तु विज्ञेयो मैथुन्यः कामसंभवः ॥३२॥
icchayā’nyonya saṃyogaḥ kanyāyāśca varasya ca ।
gāndharvaḥ sa tu vijñeyo maithunyaḥ kāma saṃbhavaḥ ॥32॥

When the bride and the groom get together, from being attracted to each other, with the main intention of physical relationship, it is termed as Gandharva-vivaha.

Under special circumstances, though Rakshasa-vivahais considered to be dharma for Kshatriyas, there is no concept of kanyā-dāna in it. Paishacha-vivaha is condemned for all of the varnas, and there is no mention of kanya-daan too in it.

In this way, with the exception of these three vivahas – Gandharva, Rakshasa and Paishacha, Manu has used the word kanyā-dāna in the context of the other five forms of marriage. We have also seen its reference in the Rigveda Samhita, in a symbolic way, and in the Vedanga – Kalpa.

Now, whether Manu smriti should be considered as authentic evidence or not; Is a girl an object to be given? Is it right or wrong to do kanya-daan? – These discussions are not relevant here. Those seeking clarity on these subjects, may study the Mimamsa Shastra “Smrityadhikarana” by Maharshi Jaimini.

Similarly, for those who reject Varna, Ashrama and its dharma, the validity of Varna-Ashrama-Dharma will have to be discussed separately.

This article is confined to removing the doubts arising out of the statement made by a popular personality that, ‘kanyā-dāna is not mentioned in the scriptures’, and thus far, evidence from Veda, Vedanga and the Manu smriti has been provided.

Further, regarding Sri Ravi Shankar ji’s statement that, ‘Even in the Smritis only pāṇi-grahaṇa is mentioned and not kanyā-dāna’ – there are two flaws in this statement. One is that it is factually incorrect, which has been proved by the references presented above. Secondly, this statement itself is irrational.

The rationale behind this is, before pāṇi-grahaṇa, kanyā-dāna takes place. As part of the marriage rituals, sankalpa, vara-pooja and kanyā-dāna are done by the parents of the bride. In this way, holding the hands of the girl, given by her parents, the groom then chants the mantra of Panigrahan. Thus, without the father’s permission, or without being given by the father, the groom will not be in a position to hold her hand.

Let’s look at this with a practical example. When one says, “I am sitting in the plane” – despite not being quoted in this sentence, we have to understand that the person is sitting in the plane after going through the process of check-in, security check etc. Entry into the aircraft is not allowed without such security checks. In the same way, if pāṇi-grahaṇa has taken place, then definitely kanyā-dāna has taken place before that.

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