Thol Thirumavalavan,

I seek to respond to your diatribes against Sanatana Dharma on twitter lately and, perhaps, assist you in your mission. I am very sympathetic to your self-avowed goal to destroy it. See, this is the secret! The more you strip away all the accretions that have gathered over Sanatana Dharma, the more you strengthen it.

I hope that those who seek to live Sanatana Dharma in its truest and intensest light are inspired by you to drop any falsehood that they might have accepted consciously or unconsciously over the years. To purify their hearts and souls of any darkness or ill will.

But coming back to you, Thol! I never cease to be amazed at the caliber of the leadership chosen by our population to represent itself on such a large scale. What does it tell us about ourselves? That we deserve you. We have earned you. And until we keep choosing the ‘lowest common multiple’, this is the best we can expect.

But to eviscerate Sanatana Dharma, you will need to do more, my Genius! And this is where I come in. For to eradicate something so pervasive, you must first understand it, must you not? So I will try to help. With you I see some hope. For in the high-puffed vanity and hubris you have shown to take on the very scaffolding of our existence and that of the Universe, you have displayed some chutzpah. I admire it. At least you have the courage to state something you believe in, even if it is to consolidate some votes from your groupies. They will surely lick your feet for the next couple of election cycles.

I wish we had seen the same courage of conviction from Sitaram ji whose heart is redder than CPC, with nary a tinge of Indian blue. Or from the last dynast of the Mughal Sultanate (मुग़लिया सल्तनत के आखिरी शहज़ादे) who leads your coalition in New Delhi, that center of Hindi-speaking, women-hating adharmiks. And, pseudo-atheist MK who wishes to ride your popularity and vitriol to win the next election. And the great Tharoor, who is contemplating his next book already, “Why I am not a Hindu?” What is the point being a Hindu anyway, since it will all be soon exterminated by the great Thol? Anything to sell a few more copies at the next literary festival though.

So, my friend! When you say you will destroy Sanatana Dharma, it is akin to saying I will destroy the ocean because the waters are getting polluted with plastic.

Or that I will decimate the entire atmosphere since the farmers are burning too much stubble in Punjab and Haryana.

Or that I will wipe out the sky since there is too much light pollution at night.

To understand Sanatana Dharma, you will first need to soften your tongue and your heart, Thiru! And then you will need to cleanse them. Wash them not with the acid that you are spewing lately but with the soap that mom should have used when you were growing up. And then, drop the sly disguises and deceptions of your mind. For one may not know the ‘Eternal Philosophy’ until one lets go of one’s ego. That may be almost impossible for you, I know. But if MK can go visit temples for some extra votes, anything is possible to his minion.

To also understand that Manu Smriti is not Sanatana Dharma. It never was. It is a stick to beat Hinduism with by certain sections of society and to polarize the electorate when convenient. And who is to blame for that? The Hindus themselves, for they gave you this opportunity to whip them with. They definitely need to get their act together and use the wounds inflicted by you to repudiate all that they are not. And to be what they truly are.

I must be confusing you, Thiru! More thought than you might have had in the last 50 years, I understand. But bear with me.

If you wish to go deeper in your understanding, we can proceed further in our journey through the barbed wires of your brain. Or we can leave you be in the heaven of your own partial and distorted untruths. Either way, I think you are doing a great service to Sanatana Dharma through the sulfurous clouds emitted via your nostrils. It is cleansing our view for sure.

Did all this help you in any way, my communist God-loving women-exalting Hindu-denigrating brother? I suspect none of this did. But I confess to you. It helped me for sure. You have cleansed my heart of all anger even as I turn your vitriol lovingly right back to you.

Appuram Parkkalaam!

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