The balloon was not indoctrinated properly before it was released to study “weather”. The conditions in the US and the temperature of the air being exhaled by its leaders, other than Biden, are very important for China. Biden is cool about China; his son Hunter is even cooler. The Chinese have lot of Yuan bills; it is the only country that prints its own fake currency. In December 2021 it was revealed that 313 billion duplicate Yuan bills (worth two trillion Yuan) were printed by its official currency printer. What was new about it was that it got known to those who had no need to know it. It had been done always, like the Indian bureaucracy that always prints spare copies of confidential documents. When the boss wants one, you cannot get away saying you were not given one; in India you are not given anything, you have to take it. But in China, the Communist Party officials cannot take anything; they are given – thoughts, sentences, orders, policies, money – everything flows top down. So there are two copies of each Yuan bill, one goes to the Central Bank of China, other goes to the Party. This is Xi’s anti-corruption campaign, something like the fixed commission from the contractors for our engineers, that keeps some of these engineers away from corruption . The duplicate Yuan bills help the designated party officials set up companies in the US that keep buying Hunter Biden’s paintings for a million dollars each. That keeps Biden cool and Hunter cooler towards China.
The Republicans have been blowing hot about China since Trump invited Xi to a game; he agreed but refused to play ball and the Americans do not like anybody displaying such gall, except the Americans. Trump started a cold war against China’s overheated economy and it seems to be working. Evergrande has stopped construction and so the steel mills are cooling their furnaces. Biden is a China fan that rotates when the Chinese wind blows and he has lowered the tariffs on Chinese goods. Yet, the Chinese “goods” are so rare, mostly these are Chinese “no good” and fakes. The Republicans have demanded a Special Counsel to be appointed to find out how the Chinese steal good technology and make “no good” with it. Republicans also say that Hunter Biden’s laptop is real, they do not explain how a fake Hunter, made in China, could have anything real. He is a fake drug addict (never faithful to his bong and his carelessness let the police find it), he is a fake lover of his deceased brother’s widow and used her love to find the love of his life at first sight, he was a fake director of the Ukrainian oil company Burisma when he could not distinguish between oil in troubled waters and oil on troubled waters but was paid a million a year (dollars, not yuan), he is a fake painter who sells paintings to the Chinese with duplicate Yuan bills and then arranges their meetings with Biden (the real Big Guy, who got 10%, as the laptop says.) He also claimed that his fatherhood of his love child was fake till some real DNA upset the fake claims. Now he is claiming that his love child, who is now real, should not use his real family name since a fake family name will keep the child real safe. We agree; who could be safe with a family name that produced Hunter Biden.
Meanwhile, responding to rumours of chip shortage in China, the Panchasheel Bhai of China (not the Mumbai Bhai who is cool in Karachi) offered best quality chips in generous quantity at ridiculously low price. The Chinese jumped at the offer and waited with bated breath for the arrival of the first shipment; it had banana chips marked “from a Democracy to the Banana (People’s) Republic.” The chips have added some crunch to the Chinese mishmash called hot pot and has warmed people to people relations as Chinese tourists swarm over the world again, some of them looking for more banana chips in our leafy parts. India remains a good neighbour in bad times, even for the bad neighbour who flies balloons over India and both are trying to sustain the common bad friend in the land of the Slaves, sorry Slavs. The Chinese regrets, (who ever heard of Chinese regrets before that momentous day) at the balloon having strayed, have made regrets politically correct once again in a world that has been rather hot in recent times. Even Erdogan admitted that his handpicked administration of most corrupt officials was somewhat late in responding to the earthquake. Yet, he said, no one could be prepared for this earthquake. No one could be prepared for the earthquake called the Chinese balloon either; except the American media. They say China has one surveillance camera for every two citizens; the US has two journalists, with camera, for every citizen. Please do not say that it is not possible; the US has always been a land of possibilities where Trump can become President and Hunter can become the President’s son.
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