Meet the candidates:

Imran Khan – naam hi kafi hei. This Izlamic Talibani puppet doesn’t have much to say but thanks his stars for allowing him the opportunity to be part of a failing program in Gaza. He has lots of experience being a failure in the Izlamic Republic of Pakistan and brings his knowledge, skills and abilities to the terrorist vacancies in Palestine.

Shashi Tharoor – vaise to he’d prefer to be surrounded by ladies and have an uninterrupted supply of viagra, but he’d be happy to settle for a job vacancy in Gaza. His failed Indian National Congress party is being led by duffer dynasts and he’s indicated that he’s happy to escape the undemocratic party and the failed state full of illiterates Kerela so that he can socialize with burke walis whose husbands have been sent to meet imaginary hoors.

Yogendra Yadav – aka pro-rape guy is always ready to be part of rent-a-cause. He actually prefers that people call him a vaishya given that he prefers to be sold to the highest bidding pimp. He has a diverse resume being a scholar, farmer, doctor, misogynist, you name it! He’d make a great PR face, if not a leader for the Hamas movement.

Sonu Sood – Bhagwan’s gift to twitter and then mankind. This guy can defeat all of IDF forces with his 26 pack muscles. So what if he’s conceited and unethical? That is exactly the type of skills needed to the job. Plus, one bonus is that his mamu and dad are actually two different people – so he brings amazing, unadulterated genes and virility for the Gaza ladies.

Arvind Kejriwal – He probably gives tough competition to the rest of the candidates on this list. He is adept at fooling everyone, including himself. He has tremendous patience and has proved that by wearing sweaters and mufflers in 130 degree weather. He has also proved that he is more resilient than cockroaches found in the gutters of Delhi. This one is a keeper, even if its just for his handsome looks.

Mamata Banerjee – she/her/it/demon. Nevermind the pronouns. Hitlier didi is ever ready to cause mayhem, especially towards anyone who is not a follower of the fictional, asmani kitab. Didi despises democracy and is trying hard to sink Eastern India into the bay of Bengal faster than you can say ‘Rohingya!’ She is a true mother figure who would have given fake madrasa Theresa a run for her Catholic money.

Akhilesh Yadav – He’s proven to be a good boy now that he’s been vaccinated by the BJP vaccine. He’s not bitched about penile erection issues after the vaccine so he’s in a good mood and ready to serve the Dalit muzlims in Gaza. He will also bring this entourage of goons along in case any kafir Jews prevent him from asserting his new role with Hamas.

Which one of these mentally deranged opportunists is your favorite?

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