Americans have two main parties in addition to everyday and everynight parties and in all of these they party hard. In the Party of the political kind, it is not a one-party or one-night stand like the everyday or everynight parties. It is a bond “till death do us part”. Yet, death needs a bit of definition and one of these is political death in the party and rebirth in the other. So Dick Cheney was a lifelong Republican and the vice-Presidential pick and his daughter Liz swam in the same murky river, as political bigwigs’ families are expected to do. Melania the Trump, who was a model devoid of the knowledge of model politics, quickly adapted to being the political Tump. But there have to be exceptions to give legitimacy to the rule, as they say, “Exception proves the rule”. This is a kind of sacrifice that the exception has to make for the rule to survive. So Liz makes the ultimate sacrifice and becomes the darling of Democrats by voting to impeach Trump while remaining a loyal Republican. She is chosen by the Democrat Speaker Pelosi to sit on the Committee trying to indict Trump for the January 6 insurrection at the Capitol Hill, the democratic event which the Republicans usually call a “protest”, like the BLack Lives Matter protest with some fireworks and some looting. Then Liz declares her support for a few Democrat candidates for the mid-term. The game is so fair and transparent that even today, Liz is a member of the Republican party. Democrats are no laggards when the call is to serve the rules by becoming an exception; Tulsi Gabbard, the Democrat who had thrown her hat in the ring during last Presidential slugfest, has supported a few Republicans in the recent mid-terms while she continues to be a Democrat. Republicans Trump and Ron de Santis have been shooting paint balls at each other with the former calling the latter Ron de Sanctimonious and Trump’s former team mate Pence saying he cannot vote for the man who made him the Vice-President. Perhaps we exported Ayaram-Gayarams to the US but it is not showing any increase in our foreign exchange earnings. Maybe, they paid in Rupees and that is why our INR is trading at almost 82 to a dollar.
Meanwhile it was reported on October 30, 2022 that “Pennsylvania’s Department of State has sent 2,49,000 ballots to unverified voters in 2022 elections.” US elections are so unique that in some states, a postal ballot is sent to every voter, verified or not and whether he has asked for it or not and then he has the choice of using it or going to the polling station to vote while the postal ballot can be used optimally by alternative means. More the choices available to citizens, the stronger is the democracy. Some voters, too eager to strengthen the American democracy, use both the choices and drive to polling station after mailing the postal ballot. This judicious use of their time in this national cause has the effect of boosting the poll percentage and creating many lawsuits, both showing how vibrant and free their nation is. In addition to multiple voting, Americans have invented “ballot harvesting” where volunteers go door to door, collect the unmarked ballots of senior citizens and assist them by marking it for them when no one is watching, thus proving that the voting is by secret ballot. This also shows how caring the young Americans are towards their senior citizens. This democratic practice is more common among the Democrats, who love their aged members like 82-year old Pelosi and 79-year old Biden. Republicans have glorified the Democrats by making a documentary “2000 Mules” based on this noble activity of ballot harvesting that would serve as a “how to” manual for the young Republicans.
Now that these elections are over, it is time for denying the elections. The US is unique not because the losers deny the outcome of elections; it is unique because the deniers later deny that they had earlier denied. The occassion for the sommersault comes when the earlier denier has to accuse an opponent of denying and you cannot come as an accuser to the court of the people with unclean hands and hence a lot of whitewashing of one’s past is required before one can successfully become an accuser. Our suggestion to the US lawmakers is to prescribe a certificate course in “The art of making accusations”, successful completion of which should be followed up with the award of a licence. That will whitewash the standing of the US in the comity of nations as the only country where only licenced accusers can make accusations.
The swinging Americans have given us the economic concept of “Throw-away society” that boosts consumption and GDP. The enterprising Americans have extended the concept from economics to sociology and the parents and children throw away each other, then children get married and soon throw away the marriage certificate and the spouse that came with that certificate and get a divorce certificate, which they throw away and get another marriage certificate. The US gave efficiency and assembly line to the world and in their home country, at popular holiday destinations, where dating couples go to get closer and married couples, whose marriage has become outdated, go for an undisturbed slugfest, one finds helpful signs like “Marriage and Divorce – 24-hour service”. Throw-away has now moved from sociology to politics with Biden taking the lead by declaring that if blacks, who traditionally voted for Democrats, vote for Trump, “You ain’t black anymore”. US elections are not only for electing politicians; these are also for transforming politicians into bureaucrats. Local school boards are run by such elected bureaucratised politicians, the town sheriff has to win in an election to don the uniform and the badge and the lower judiciary is elected by the people, with higher judiciary being elected by those who were elected by the people.
Don’t try to make sense of it; only if you are an American citizen, you can make a pretense of understanding these uniquely American practices. Becoming a US citizen used to be a tough call; you had to first fill the mile-long Visa form designed to disguise your real migratory intention under the veil of being a student, tourist or a spouse, you had to then appear for a personal interview and so on. It is much easier nowadays; you go to Mexico, then walk across the border and declare yourself an asylum seeker. Once you are in, it is the responsibility or the US government to give you a house, food, legal marijuana for medical benefits and a lawyer to fight your case for permanent stay. The rest of the responsibilities, if any are left, fall on the NGOs on the Left, with active support of the Democrats. All you have to promise is that you will vote with the left even before you become a citizen, because states ruled by democrats have made laws that voting and citizenship have no nexus with each other and the matter is pending for adjudication before the judges elected by the democrats.
Democracy gives the aliens the freedom to walk into the US and the freedom to live on state welfare and the least the grateful illegal migrant can do is to vote to strengthen the democracy as well as the party that facilitated his arrival and will boost his claim to citizenship. Even as millions are settling in the US by this democratic process, hundreds of thousands, who are US citizens, are moving to Mexico attracted by the lower cost of living, while keeping their online jobs in America. We are still trying to decode why Mexicans leave this lower cost of living and walk into America; maybe crime in Mexico is higher than even the very high crime rate in the US! Then why are Americans driving in hordes to Mexico? The only answer is – do not try to make sense of the US; in this swinging country, there is no swing too far.
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